A Short Survival Guide

When you’re a mom, obviously you’re never alone. There is PLENTY of company in my near-8 month old baby, she is a presence in my life that few can compare to, but still. It gets lonely sometimes. Especially when you live in a small town where your social scene isn’t what most people would call huge. 

I am lucky enough to have a great boyfriend in my life too, which also remedies loneliness, but as much as I love kickin’ it with the fabulous Niels, I enjoy having a nice girly night every once in a while. 

Top Five Things to do with Girlfriends that Boyfriends and Babies aren’t down with:

1. Go out dancing.

2. Drink Bacardi Breezers.

3. Watch “Sex and the City” and laugh your butts off.

4. Go clothes shopping (I DO do this with baby Mia, but the stroller tends to get in the way…).

5. Dig on Prince.

So, what do you do when your two best friends in the world are on separate sides of the country? Or more specifically, the one you’ve been friends with since first grade and survived everything with is back packing in Australia, and the fabulous, feminist pile of awesomeness you met in high school who taught you plenty about yourself is back in the States while you’re stuck in rural Norway. 

Top Five Things to do When Best Friends Aren’t Around:

1. Watch excessive amounts of movies that remind you of them (Purple Rain, Clueless, Eckbos Beste).

2. Hang out with Fabulous Boyfriend.

3. Facebook-chat with them.

4. Buy/make cool presents for when you see them again.

5. Be excited for when they get back.

Anita, Reina and all my gals in Syracuse. I miss the crap outta you guys. 

Yet Another Top Five-List

My boyfriend, Niels, and I had a discussion a couple weeks ago about actors, and which ones were our all-time favorites. I beraded him because he was only listing male actors, no females. Niels argued that this was because he liked movies that were filled with predominantly men, good action- and war-movies such as Apocolypse Now or Gangs of New York, to be more prescise. He thought about women he admired for a long time, and finally admitted that he thought Nicole Kidman was good.

Niels then asked me about my favorites, and laughed when I listed mostly women, go figure. So, after much thought about the matter, I've now decided to list my (so far) Top Five Favorite Actors and Actresses.

1. Toni Colette

(Little Miss Sunshine, Shaft, Muriel's Wedding)

She's so cute, and is the kind of lady I wish was my Aunt.

2. Kathleen Turner

(Serial Mom, The Virgin Sucides, Beautiful)

Someone I'm really glad ISN'T in my family, because this lady is kind of terrifying, but still FABULOUS! Husky voice, that devilish smirk, and she has worked with John Waters. Cool lady.

3. Christina Ricci

(Prozac Nation, Opposite of Sex, Addams Family Values)

Prozac Nation made a huge impression on me, both the book and the film adaptation. Ricci as Elizabeth Wurtzel on X, dancing with Lou Reed while "Perfect Day" plays in the background is beautiful. In fact, Christina Ricci is just kinda all-around gorgeous. 

4. Marie Bonnevie

(The Polar Bear King, I am Dina, Jerusalem)

Norwegian. Intense. So talented, yet under the radar. Shame...

5. Susan Sarandon                                                                                                                            

(The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Thelma and Louise, James and the Giant Peach)

1. Steve Carell

(The Office, 40 Year Old Virgin, Little Miss Sunshine)

This man is so funny. Ever since his The Daily Show-days I have been in love with Steve. Watch The Office and tell me you disagree.

2. Bill Murray
(Ghostbusters, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Groundhog Day)

Bill Murray is the dryest man in the world. He so dry, he make the Sahara look damp, ok? Bill Murray's a genious.

3.James Remar

(The Warriors, Dexter, Pineapple Express)

Probably the least known guy on my list, but don't let that fool you, this guy is way cool. His chacter Richard Wright was the only man that Samantha on Sex and the City ever loved (before Smith, of course), he always makes me laugh when he says "Wuss the matta? Ya goin' FAGGOT?" in The Warriors, not to mention, he's the voice of Rayden in Mortal Combat:Annihilation.

4.Samuel L. Jackson                                                                                                                                

(Pulp Fiction, Black Snake Moan, Snakes on a Plane)

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!!!"

5. Steve Buscemi

(Resevoir Dogs, Ghost World, Fargo)

Steve Buscemi is so creepy, and smarmy, and looks like the kinda guy that makes you grab hold of your pepperspray if you meet him on the street. Bugeyed, crooked teeth (like me!), sullen cheekbones, he's definately got the whole Heroin-Chic-look down, but, on the other hand, he's sorta lovable in a weird, goofy kind of way. He's aiight by me.

Now, Two Actors Who are Actually Great, but Everyone Forgets because of Bad Publicity:

Tom Cruise

Yeah, I know he's this crazy Scientologist who jumps on couches and, like, keeps his wife locked up or something, but we have to look past that and realize that Cruise has brought us plenty of cinematic joys such as Vanilla Sky, Magnolia, and Rain Man. And remember when he looked like this:

Lindsay Lohan:

The ringleader of Those Who are Loved to Be Hated by Teenagers and Gossip Rags. Underage and drunk, rehab, smackin' down paparazzis, and I guess she's gay now(?), Lohan has taken a few punches below the belt from the media. But let me take you back to a time before all that: It's 2004, and Lohan isn't old enough to get into clubs, there was Mean Girls and Freaky Friday. I ADORE Mean Girls, and believe that alongside with Clueless and Heathers, it's manditory Chick-Cinema.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

While my daughter sits on the floor next to an electrical outlet, playing with her favorite toys, scissors and a plastic bag, I wonder, has anyone seen ABC Family’s new show The Secret Life of the American Teenager?

Now, I started watching this show, because, ain’t gonna lie, I was really touched by it at first. It’s about a fifteen year-old girl, Amy, who finds out she’s pregnant on her first day of high school. She confides in her best friends and does exactly what I did: goes on with life as if nothing is wrong (apparently this is quite normal in pregnant teenagers, many find it easiest to just put it on the back burner and ignore it). She meets a boy, not her unborn babies father, and they fall in love despite the fact that she is pregnant by another guy—also something that hit pretty close to home, as I started dating my current boyfriend three months into my pregnancy. I kept watching the show, simply because Amy’s experiences mirrored my own.

However, as the show went on it took a drastic dive. 

Aside, from it's lame and boring sideplots; a love triangle, a possible divorce, a long lost father showing up, etc... It started to become preachy and reminded me of those cheesy info-movies they make you watch in health class. You know, where everything’s so forced, so THIS IS YOUR TYPICAL AMERICAN HIGH SCHOOL-ish. The dialog was tripe, Amy’s friends said things like: “If you’re thinking about getting an abortion, you have to confide in your parents, they know best. Actually, you should tell them right now anyway. “The show was filled to the brim with cheesy, pro-life facts such as those, and Amy only entertained the idea of abortion for a hot second, but then changes her mind, because her boyfriend then offers to marry her and says they could live with his dad and raise the baby there, something the dad fully supports, as any average American father would of course be so willing to do.

Another thing I detested about the show was the supporting cast. Every single character was a total teenage stereotype. Amy and her boyfriend are two painfully normal and bland characters; white middleclassers, who play in the school band, get good grades and hang out with their friends eating pizza in their spare time. Then you have the upper classmen involved: There’s Ricky (LOVE the fifties-badboy name, by the way) Amy’s baby-daddy. Ricky is a sixteen year-old player, who has his way with most of his female peers, and Adrian. The (as she is so kindly described by her peers) “school slut” (nice.), despite the fact that she is a straight A-student.

These are the, gasp! SEXUALLY ACTIVE characters on the show. But we soon learn the Ricky suffers a severe depression from being in fostercare and is a victim of sexual abuse himself, while Adrian, who is beautiful, smart and fiercely in charge of her own sexuality has some serious daddy-issues having grown up without a father-figure. Oh, yeah. And she's Latina

I think what ABC is trying to tell us is that only teenagers with issues have sex. Right… 

Because the Christian characters on the show are amazing! Grace (again…The illustrative names!) is the hot Christian girl, she’s sexy and all the male characters like her, but she knows how to say no, making her an admirable character on the show. She’s totally stereotypic as well, painfully naïve and an annoying do-gooder, but regardless, she still knows how to avoid sex, thus she is a symbol of strength. 

I gave “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” a chance hoping to find a sorta mainstream “Juno”. Alas, I was severly disappointed, but what can you expect when the shows creator, Brenda Hampton, is the genious behind such quality gems as…”7th Heaven”.

The one thing that cracks me up about it though... Guess who plays Amy's mom:

Yup. Molly Ringwald.

Watch the first episode here:

http://www.surfthechannel.com/info/television/The_Secret_Life_of_the_American_Teenager/87045/S1E1.html?aid=218867